Advice
Best man and maid of honour: fun ideas and a game plan for the wedding day
The best gift from the best man and maid of honour is not a twenty-minute routine, but a day where the couple has nothing to manage. Here is the role, a dozen ideas that get the whole room playing, and a timeline so nothing is forgotten.
The best man and maid of honour have two jobs on the wedding day: take every bit of organising off the couple's shoulders, and liven up the party with one or two surprises that involve every guest, not just their own group of friends. The ideas that work best are short (five to ten minutes), planned in advance with the DJ or caterer, and designed so that grandma and the work crowd can join in too.
This guide is for best men, maids of honour and anyone in the wedding party wondering where to start, and for couples who want to slip them a few ideas.
What does the best man or maid of honour do on the day?
Depending on the country, they may also act as an official witness and sign the register. But for the party, their role is much wider, and it is what makes the difference.
- Be the point of contact. The caterer is looking for someone, a guest is lost, the DJ asks whether to start the next part: they call the best man or maid of honour, not the bride or groom.
- Keep the schedule. Know the time of each moment and gently nudge things along so the day does not run an hour late.
- Look after lone guests. A friend's partner, the colleague who knows nobody, the great aunt sitting alone: a word, an introduction, a seat at the right table.
- Prepare one or two activities. Not ten. One great surprise beats a programme that delays dinner.
- Carry an emergency kit. Safety pins, tissues, plasters, a phone charger, a pair of flats for the bride.
Many also organise the hen or stag party. We have ideas for that on our hen and stag party page.
Ideas during the drinks reception
The drinks reception is often long, especially while the couple are having their photos taken. It is the perfect time for an activity that mixes the two families.
- Recreate the photo. Dig out an old photo of the couple (a summer camp, a first date) and invite guests to recreate it.
- Guest bingo. A grid of boxes to get signed by other guests ("has seen the groom dance", "travelled more than 300 miles"). Printed on a card, it makes everyone approach someone new.
- Photo challenges. Prompts that turn every guest into a photographer: "clink glasses with someone you didn't know this morning". We have gathered 100 of them in our wedding photo challenge ideas.
- An original guestbook. An old world map where guests pin where they live, a pack of cards to sign, an audio guestbook.
More ideas for this exact moment are in our guide to cocktail hour entertainment.
Ideas during the meal
- The couple quiz. Ten questions about their story, put to the tables, who answer on a slate. Prepared with the families to find answers nobody knows.
- The shoe game. The couple sit back to back, holding one of their own shoes and one of their partner's; the best man asks the questions ("who is more stubborn?"). A classic that works in five minutes.
- Video messages from those who couldn't come. Friends abroad, grandparents who no longer travel, colleagues: thirty seconds each, edited into three minutes.
- The slideshow of their story. Childhood photos, first trips, anecdotes. Keep it short: five minutes, between two courses.
- The two-voice speech. One from each side, each telling the story of the other. Three to five minutes, one funny story, one tender story, a toast.
Our 30 wedding games for guests give more classic ideas, along with the ones best avoided.
Ideas for the evening
- The wedding party dance. Rehearsed in secret, it fills the dance floor better than any hit. Bonus points if the couple are pulled in at the end.
- The rewritten song. A well-known hit with new lyrics about the couple, sung by the whole group with the chorus taken up by the room.
- Bubbles or sparklers. Sky lanterns are often banned by venues and local authorities because of the fire risk, so check first. Bubbles and sparklers are safer, and make lovely photos.
How do you get every guest playing, not just your own group?
This is the most common trap. The wedding party prepares an activity full of in-jokes with their mutual friends, and the rest of the room watches without understanding. Three habits avoid it:
- Test the idea on someone outside your group, a parent of the couple for instance. If they don't laugh, half the room won't either.
- Give every table a role, not just the top table: answering the quiz, singing the chorus, sending a photo.
- Favour activities that run themselves. A game that starts without a microphone frees you up to enjoy your friends' wedding.
That is why many wedding parties choose surprise-timed photo challenges. With Clinkpop, you set up the game in a few minutes, print a table card with a QR code, and guests play in their phone's browser, with no app and no account, just a first name. A challenge drops about every 45 minutes (or at the pace you choose), everyone has 10 minutes to answer, then sees everyone else's photos. You can add up to 5 challenges of your own, about the couple or your group. Examples from the catalogue:
- A photo with someone whose first name starts with the same letter as yours Funny
- A silhouette against the sunset Tender
- Clink glasses with someone you didn't know this morning For everyone
- Find someone dressed in the same colour as you Funny
The next day, the couple receive the full album, sorted by challenge: a lovely gift from the wedding party. The price is €59 for up to 150 guests, €79 for up to 300, as a one-off payment, with a free trial for up to 10 guests. See how it all works on the wedding page.
The timeline, from six months before to the day after
| When | To do |
|---|---|
| 6 months before | Introduce yourself to the rest of the wedding party, create a group chat without the couple, ask the couple what they want and what they absolutely don't |
| 3 months before | Choose one or two activities, tell the DJ and caterer, collect photos and videos |
| 1 month before | Write the speech, rehearse the dance, check the kit (microphone, screen, extension leads) |
| 1 week before | Get the day's schedule, pack the emergency kit, test anything that runs on a screen or phone |
| On the day | Arrive early, handle the unexpected, start each activity on time |
| The day after | Gather guests' photos, return anything hired, send a thank-you note to suppliers |
To gather photos after the party, our method to collect wedding photos from guests afterwards includes messages ready to send.
Mistakes to avoid
- The speech that goes on. Beyond five minutes the room drifts off. Write it, time it.
- Stories about exes. Never, not even as a joke.
- Surprising the couple with something they said no to. If they said no garter toss, it's no.
- Hogging the microphone. Leave room for parents, siblings and dinner.
- Forgetting to enjoy it. You are a guest too: an activity that runs itself gives you time to dance.
Frequently asked questions
What does the best man or maid of honour do on the wedding day?
Take pressure off the couple: deal with suppliers, keep the schedule, look after lone guests, prepare one or two activities and carry an emergency kit. In some countries they also sign the register as a witness.
What fun things can the best man and maid of honour organise?
Recreating an old photo during the drinks reception, video messages from absent friends during dinner, a rewritten song or a group dance in the evening, and photo challenges that get every table playing. One or two activities are enough.
How long should a best man or maid of honour speech be?
Three to five minutes each. One funny story, one tender story, a toast: enough to move the room without letting dinner go cold.
How can the wedding party get every guest involved?
Avoid in-jokes, give every table a role, and choose activities that run without a microphone, such as photo challenges sent to phones. Test your idea on someone outside your group.
Should we tell the couple about our surprise?
Tell them at least that a surprise exists and how long it lasts, or go through someone close who knows their limits. The DJ, caterer and venue should know everything in advance.